I hear talk about "working the steps" and I when I was going to the family support group before I didn't really grasp (or even try to grasp) the concept. Honestly, at that point it was all about going through the motions, but now I still wonder what it means. I know a lot of sisters write out their answers to the questions. Honestly though, I have never heard any sister(that I can recall) talk about working the action steps, though. The questions - in my mind - were there to help me open my mind and heart. However, the action steps are the heart of the program - where the real meat is. I just finished answering all of the questions for Step 1 this past week and was rereading the whole of Step 1 and the action steps really caught my eye this time around. These are essentials. They break down each of the steps into baby steps. I have to practice them daily and keep coming back to them when I forget to practice them. The 12 Steps are posted in a place in my home where I can see them continually throughout the day & I am thinking it might be helpful for me, personally, to have the action steps somewhere in a similar fashion as well.
How do you know when you are ready to move to the next step? I think that is the hardest thing for me right now. Part of me still wants to race through this process and part of me wants the Lord to walk me through it. I want to be ready for Step 2. I think I am - for the most part - but there is still one action step I don't think I have grasped yet in Step 1 so I am trying to accept the fact that for now - I should probably keep working Step 1.
I have been doing the writing (about a page, sometimes front and back) on each question, and I'm half way through Step 3. But, like you, I've been thinking A LOT about how to 'work' the steps. I told J I was thinking about writing up quotes/affirmations/etc from each step, and carry one around with me all day, and keep reading it and try to apply it, just so the steps are becoming more and more a part of my actual day, and not just something I think about a few nights a week. Still trying to figure it out . . . I love the idea of posting the 12 steps in my house, and I think I might do the whole thing you suggested, break down the action steps (in to quotes, ideas, etc.) and put them somewhere I read and think about them more often.
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure how quickly or slowly to go through the steps either, like how to know when one is 'done' . . . but I figure it's all ongoing either way, and I'll be back to these steps sooner or later anyway, so I'm trying not to get hung up on 'perfecting' a step.
I've been thinking about this a lot too -- thanks for the suggestions!
From my experience, you just know when you are ready to move on to the next step. It's has also helped me a ton to have a sponsor who can help me process along the way and keep me progressing. Do you have one?
ReplyDeleteTake all the time you need. If you are not sure if you are ready to move on, then you probably aren't.
Trust your gut. Like Marlee said, you'll just kind of know. I thought at first that I was going to be at step 1 for a long time (and I did take some time there) but then I felt to move onto step 2 and 3. And again, I was sure I'd be there for a while, but then I felt the Spirit inviting me forward (for me, I realized that I wouldn't fully be able to understand and trust God without being willing to face my fear and do step 4...one of my weaknesses is not being able to face my weakness without self-criticism, so learning to face my weakness with more gentleness and trust in God's love was a big leap of faith for me...but just as the Spirit said I would, I found more understanding of God's love as I moved forward.
ReplyDeleteBut you may also find that you'll go back and revisit earlier steps, too. After working on step 4 for a while, I felt like I got stuck/backtracked so I went back to rework steps 1-3. What was great is that in doing so, I felt I was able to understand more because I'd experienced more. It's been like a dance for me.
And then, strangely, this past week or so I've felt like reading step 10 materials (which for me was helpful because it sort of helped crystallize more what the steps are about, and also helped me see that I was making progress toward what step 10 is getting at).
So I think part of the process of recovery is learning to trust the Spirit to guide you to know what your next baby step is. And also learning to be patient with the process. It's sllllooooow. But so sweet when you can feel the glimpses of progress and hope and clarity.
One last thing...as I progress, I start to see and feel the interconnectedness of the steps so the principles start to reinforce each other, too.
Thanks for the input, everyone ! It's interesting because last night I decided to read over Step 2 again just to jog my memory on it and see if I was ready. Nope. Not there yet. I probably will be soon, but not yet. It's funny because the last time I "tried" to work the steps it was so different - I just want to rush through it. I had promised myself I would "work" the steps until I was done working them & keep waiting for him for get his act together. I am still hoping for the latter, but either way - I will work the step because I believe they will give me the peace I am seeking.
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