I just got into a little fight with hubby. It probably wouldn't have happened except I am under extreme stress and upset right now. I usually hold it all inside and then finally - a straw will break the camel's (or my) back & the floodgates open to all the anger, hurt, anxiety, depression, & whatever else I have been holding back on expressing. He snapped at me for wanting him to put the kids first. And I broke for the second time this morning. I am soo tired of the kids and I playing second fiddle to what HE wants. I am so hurt inside and so tired of trying to hide it. I hate the questions that come when my kids see me cry. Especially when it's dad that hurt me. I am so the fact that I have raging hormones right now due to being pregnant doesn't help, but for crying out loud I want one lousy break.
I am so tired of rationing funds, food, gas in our car, & my emotional strength. I feel like I am taking a million steps backwards today and no one even knows it. And even if they did. Who the heck would care. I want a corner to call mine and just to be able to crawl in it & ignore it all for awhile. Real productive, huh. I guess this is where the addiction come in for the addict.
I am SO sorry. I wish I was there so I could throw my arms around you, then take you out for ice cream or something! Bad days just take it out of you. And being pregnant, agh, makes them that much tougher. I'm sorry -- I'm thinking of you. I hope the rest of the day goes better and you get a break!
ReplyDeleteI feel it. It comes and it goes doesn't it. Sometimes we take the stress like a champ and other times we crumble. You're not alone, we've all been through those hard days, and hard phases. I'm thinking of you too. I remember some days while he was home, I'd just take off, turn off my phone and just go be with me. Those are the most clarifying moments.
ReplyDeleteLadies, can't tell ya how much your kind words, love, and support mean. Sometimes - it's knowing I have a little support group out here in the virtual world - is what keeps me going.
ReplyDeleteHow do you regroup when you feel like you've backtracked?
I'm no expert at this, but I've found that for me, it's just a matter of feeling crappy for a bit, going to sleep that night and waking up and just deciding it's a new day. Half the time I already feel better after a (crappy) night's sleep, but sometimes I have to make more effort and remind myself we mourned/cried/wallowed a little yesterday and it's time for a fresh start for the day. :-)
DeleteI feel for you. Some days are overwhelming when dealing with what we are dealing with. I've been praying for you all day. Peggy
ReplyDelete