An incident happened today that greatly upset me earlier in
the day. I was trying to recover from more emotional upheaval and ponder
on the whole thing a little more clearly. I did something that hurt and offended
people I love - when I truly was just trying to show love & support for
them in a difficult situation. I haven't even gotten close yet to working
Step 4 and yet found myself working Step 4 in this particular situation
& asking some soul searching questions. It was strange to see the
process unfold before me and while I still feel some pain I find myself wanting
to reconcile this situation as quickly as possible with the people I
love. And for me - that is very much unlike me - I tend to hold grudges,
resentment, and have a hard time seeking & offering forgiveness.
Sooo...this is huge to me.
Yay girl Yay! I seriously feel like I'm watching you change before my eyes.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad, Jane ! I rarely feel like that - it's more like I take one step forward and a million back. Thanks for cheering me on !
DeleteSo awesome. Things like this can give you a taste for what recovery feels like. I love seeing it in so many of your lives. It's a visible thing, just like Jane said. I see so much good happening in so many of your lives. It's awesome.
ReplyDeleteAnd remember that one step forward, some steps back is NORMAL. Don't let that discourage you. It's part of what it means to be human.
This is awesome. My whole goal right now is to get to where I use the Steps productively in my day to day life, so I LOVE hearing an example of how someone's doing it. Thanks for sharing -- and congrats!!
ReplyDeleteIt wasn't intentional - it was weird how it just happened. Love ya !
DeleteI have to be honest here, so here it goes, I had every intention of reconcile this matter that very night. It didn't happen. And it didn't happen Saturday. Or yesterday. Or today. I could make all the excuses in the world, but the reality is - I have yet to make it a priority. My pride and fear have gotten in the way. However, I will find a way and soon. And I will return and report - why- because it will help hold me accountable. Which I obviously need.
ReplyDeleteWithout knowing too much about what happened, it sounds like something that I did several months ago. I was clearly at fault but it was so easy to quickly displace the blame to others and justify my actions. It's weird how the steps make our lives better, but sometimes more complicated, and although it is harder to hold ourselves to our new standard, it is liberating when we are able to pull it together. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteps I finally got your link changed on my blog. Sorry it took so long!
Oh Jane, I just love you're uplifting words ! I took a little step this morning in fixing this by getting the contact info for the people I need to reconcile with. I don't talk to them on a regular basis, but they are part of my extended family & I love them dearly. I hope to contact them tonight.
ReplyDeleteFunny thing is - I was just about to start justifying my actions right here as I type. Old habits die hard. Well, we'll just keep working on changing that !