I used to let this define me. It was my own awful secret. I was only the wife of an addict. It was all I could see myself as because my life was constantly about his addiction - it affected every aspect of my life. However, things have changed. Sure, I'm still the wife of a pornography addict, but there is so much more to me.
I am a music lover. Not only that, but I love to sing. It is like free therapy for me. I am a mother and mother-to-be. I am a fan of most all things that have sugar or chocolate in them. I am a dreamer. A dreamer of a simple, but beautiful place to call my own with a backyard. I am the woman who has never outgrown her love of the color purple and so many of its beautiful shades. I am wife who dreams of seeing her husband's eyes sparkle once more. I am a lover of history and learning. I am a wanna-be organized woman. A wanna-be able to use a sewing machine without a bit of help woman. I am a sister, a aunt, a friend, and a daughter - just to name a few other roles. I am a wanna-be world traveler, a fix-it kinda gal, a creator, a photographer. Most importantly, I am a daughter of God. I often forget that last one.
One thing too - I have discovered. This addiction doesn't determine who I am. Nothing does. Only I determine who I am and who I can become and I am the only one who can make those things happen. I need my Heavenly Father and Savior to help me every step of the way. It starts with my desire though.
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