The last two weeks- in counseling - I feel somewhat like a
guinea pig on a wheel going over & over the same stuff -which I need at
times. Other times it's just frustrating. I think I can move
forward in recovery - for the most part - at least for now - on my own without
counseling. However, in my relationship with my husband - I need
communication - and I really don't feel emotionally (and sometimes physically)
safe enough to do so. I really feel that before I am ready to have some
conversations on my own with him - I need a few with someone who can mediate,
act as a witness, & help move the conversation in a productive manner.
What does your husband think about counseling? Have you brought it up with him?
ReplyDeleteMy husband's going to LifeStar (group counseling) right now, but sometimes I think I'd like to get us in for some marriage counseling, just 'cause things seem to be going well, but we keep uncovering more and more stuff that we need to deal with (it's like nothing is left untouched by the porn issue!) I haven't actually done any therapy for me/us, but I am finding the 12 Step meetings helpful, I just need to get to them more regularly. (Having a nursing baby makes it more difficult!)
We have done counseling in the past, but it always started as a me thing - me seeking help & he was pulled in with reluctance. I haven't brought it up with him yet. Still fearful of his answer or him saying yes, but acting like it's torture. We also used the same therapist last time and I think it created some resentment for me - because the focus was no longer me. And it wasn't us - it was him. I really find a lot of strength in the 12 Step meetings, but I can only do so much to make our marriage work on my own. I am trying to let go of the fact that I feel I have to save this marriage. I need to be able to communicate with him for this marriage to work and this is the best way I think for me, personally, to approach this.
ReplyDelete