Monday, July 29, 2013

Tightrope Walking

Do you ever feel like you are walking a tightrope wire & wondering how the heck you got up there & praying you don't fall- to either side - because no matter what happens - if you fall to either side it's a recipe for disaster?  Cause' that's basically where I'm at these days.  Some days are all about him & what he's done or not done or still seems to have no desire to do & some days it's all about me & healing & some days it's a combination of both.  You really can't separate them - at least I can't seem to figure out how.  Sure - I know my recovery isn't dependent on his and yet feeling like I am stuck living with someone who isn't seeking recovery makes it harder for me to no act out co-dependently then we have a problem.  I know I need to quit acting co-dependently no matter what he does - for me to experience some healing.  However, I also deserve a environment in which I can experience healing.  It is not healing in any form or fashion to be with someone who is okay with being stuck in addiction.  It's a messy double-edged sword - if ya ask me?

Got any thought or suggestions?

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