let me start at the beginning. Hubby & I finally had a not so fun conversation Sunday that he had basically avoided (intentional or not) on Friday & Saturday. It had some to do with his setting up parental controls on the TV to his liking and me not knowing the password and for me that was a issue. I recently came to the realization that I can no longer handle sitting by & let that stuff into our home. I don't want to risk me or the kids being exposed to that trash anymore. He didn't seem to get it. I even told him we could let someone else have the parental control passcode and neither of us have access to it. He finally said something to the effect that he could call the cable company & just have them remove those channels. I didn't believe he would really do it. I told him okay - he would have all day next day to do that. And he did. So why do I feel letdown? Is it because I am already wondering why he was able to give it up so easily when he felt the need to DVR that crap? Is it because he agreed with me last Thursday night that the stuff didn't need to be in our home where we could risk exposing me or the kids & then the next day he acts to protect his interests & set parental controls but it still shows the ability to access adult material & won't disclose the passcode so his actions tell me otherwise?
So, I should be thrilled but, it just makes me wonder.
I would call the cable company to check and make sure he made the change. If it's Direct TV he can get channels back anytime he wants and negotiate channels with them anytime of day. He can have access from his computer and change channels hourly if he wanted to. My husband would do this often. Check the bill each month. I know this sounds like control, but it's not, when it comes to keeping your home and family safe. If he does not agree to let you have the pass code then he is lying. If he wasn't looking at porn, he'd want you to have the pass code as a protection for him.
ReplyDeleteI could be wrong, but this sounds off to me.
Boundaries are to protect YOU (or your children) and not him. It sounds like you know exactly what your doing! Trust your gut the lord speaks to us in many different ways. You are awesome!
ReplyDeleteI have shared a little more about this on the forum for women at Hope and Healing, but yes - I did discover this. He's only had one bill so far but on Monday this week I went to watch something I had recorded. The way the titles were listed had been changed - it had been the oldest stuff first & then the newest stuff. Made me suspicious so I scrolled down & TA-DA - two blocked titles. Anyhow - we are going to have discussions about this soon since I no longer plan on enabaling him. I hope to do this once we start couples counseling since he has agreed to that but if that falls through for some reason I am going to see if the Bishop can help mediate these conversations. I finally did have the courage to delete the only show of the two left yesterday while he was at work. I don't know if he went to watch it last night but he changed the order of how what is recorded shows up again. I am assuming he noticed his other blocked title was missing but he hasn't said anything yet.
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