Thursday, March 28, 2013

The Battle

So I had not planned on taking this long of a vacation from blogging, but I think overall it was necessary.  My sweet baby girl is now 5 months old today & between her & her older siblings I feel overwhelmed daily - but there is a lot of joy to be had too !

But you didn't come here to read about all that jazz - you came here because addiction is somehow affecting your life or the life of a loved one - more specifically - sexual addiction.

Hubby & I had what I thought was a really good night tonight at his brother's house - having dinner & just talking.  But one question I had led to a conversation full of heated tension for me.  I think more than anything - like anything else - it didn't mean much to him because he has so much apathy.  Which feeds my fire.  I was throughly pissed off by the time all was said & done.  So tired of feeling like I am Oliver -  from Oliver Twist - asking "Please sir, may I have some more."  And it all started because I asked to use our car tomorrow (we are a one car family - UGHH!)

The whole thing made me wanna throw in the towel on this specific we were having it out over.  A lightbulb suddenly went on in my head though - thiking - this means he wins - not that it's about who wins the battles but for me at this stage in the mess - it's about planning for the worst & hoping for the best - as my dad would say.

So...because of this - I have to face my fears & insecurities & learn how to drive a stick.  I also need a little more income.  Sigh.

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