Sometimes I feel like I am constantly going back to the beginning in this journey of recovery. It's kinda like taking 2 steps forward and then 3 back and then wandering off the trail before you realize you are lost and call for help. Or like the laundry I tried to tackle today, but to no avail (and I only have 2 children & the hubby).
Last week was my pity party and this week my focus has been self-care. Self-care for me includes lots of sweets (esp chocolate), some shopping, cranking up my fave tunes that put a smile on my face & singing - just to name a few. A pedicure and some new flip-flops sound good too ! I surprised myself by starting the process of Friday though I did a little of the pity party thing on Saturday & Sunday. Still, I promised myself I would do what I could in my power to have that self-care include seeking outside help.
I had decided to go to my church's 12-step program to help families deal with their love ones addiction to porn. The events of the day had emotionally drained me before I even had a chance to grab a bite for lunch and I almost didn't go. I bit the bullet though. I refused to let Satan with this one. I went. It was hard. Really hard and yet so helpful. I am so glad I went. For me personally, this was Baby Step #1 for the week. Baby Step #2 is supposed to happen on Friday and I am on pins and needles waiting for Friday to come. But I shouldn't be - going to have to work on that. As a unknown author said "Do not be afraid of tomorrow;for God is already there."
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